Do You Know Who You Are?

Here's the thing...
I'm addicted to you. I have been ever since we first met, and I don't think I'll ever be rid of you. I crave you - even when I know it's not healthy, when I know you're no good for me. I can't get enough. I want to be done - I do. But I just can't. No matter where I go, I cannot escape your grasp on my mind, my body, my heart and my soul.... Always haunting me. Always there. But you already know all this, don't you?

I dreamt of you again last night. I do all the time you know... It's somewhere in between my worst dreams and a kind of wonderful nightmare. I hate it. I hate you. I want nothing more than to let you go and move on, but every time I feel like I have - you come back to find me. You can't leave me be, can you? I rarely ever dream, you knew that. But it's almost like you found a way to use that against me. Now... Now, I dream quite often... Always of you. I scream and I cry wanting to get away, trying not to let you hurt me again, but I can't. I can't find it in myself to be happy without you. Even though I know how much easier life would be... I just can't seem to rid my mind of you and all the wonderful things about you. That feeling you give me... It's really not fair you know, because I have always been amazing for you. I am the best I've ever been and ever will be with you; you make me that way. You make me the happiest I've ever been, make me feel like I could fly. But you've been terrible to me, every time. You start out making me so very happy, but then when I start to trust you again - start believe it could work this time... You break me down. Bringing me to my lowest. To a point where I make crying a part of my daily routine. To a point where I don't think I'll ever get back up again. Always making me feel like I'm not, and never was, good enough. You make me feel like a whore. Like everything I've done before or after you is wrong. You take me to a place where sleep becomes my worst enemy, because I know that's where you'll find me. I lay awake at night and shake at the thought of seeing you and falling back into those memories in my dreams, or nightmares rather. Why can't you leave me be? Why can't I let you go? I have to get away, have to be free. Haven't I?

Thing is...
You play all these sick games with me, but I need you. From top to bottom - you're what I'm made of. Every bit of me is filled with you. I need you to simply survive. I hate you because of what you've done to me in the past, but it only has to go right one time... Doesn't it? It may not have worked out with us before, because you've never fully given yourself over to me, I've never felt the full extent of what you are and how you can make me feel. But I suppose that maybe you're trying to teach me something... I think you are. With everyone that you've brought with you, everyone you've accompanied into my life - I've learnt a lesson. You are a good teacher, you know. A cruel, bitter one. But a good one, nonetheless. I owe most all of my memories to you. Both happy and sad, the best and the worst. And I think I must thank you for that. I believe one day.... One day we will find our place in this world, you and I. But you already know all this, don't you?



Do you know who you are?

Such a simple name, for something so complex. Just four letters, for so many emotions and feelings.
You are Love. But you already know all this, don't you?