Fooled

Here's the thing...
I'm doing fine without you. I don't even miss you too much! I smile and I laugh everyday. I don't cry and I don't think about you too often. I think I'm doing better off even than I was when I was with you, I think this was good for me. I really don't need you like I thought I did... Do I have you fooled?

I seem to have everyone else tricked. But you do know me quite well... You could always tell I was upset, even when I was trying to hide it. Always caught me when I was not quite telling the truth, when I wasn't quite okay like I'd try to make you believe. I'd like to think you know I'm faking... But do you? Is it obvious, even now? I wonder if you've forgotten. See I think I must be pretty good at this, acting and such, because I have even the people who know me best deceived. They don't see the sadness in my eyes, they see the false smile I tend to put on in these times. They don't hear me cry, they hear that empty sound they call laughter. They don't sense my pain, they sense the happiness that really isn't anywhere to be found now. Sometimes I wonder if they only perceive the things they want... I think they must. That's how people are I've decided. As individuals, we are rather ignorant. We like to only see select things - whether it's the good or the bad. I think you want to believe that I'm happy without you, because you have a mind like mine. We tend to almost want the things that hurt us and make us upset. The life of a pessimist I suppose... But you should know better. You should know by now that I need you. Do you?

Thing is...
I'm not doing okay without you. I miss you more than I could ever explain! My smile is insincere and my laughter hollow. I cry all the time and I think about you constantly. I'm so lost without you, this was the worst thing that could have happened. I need you more than I ever even realized... Did I have you fooled?

"If you believed when I said I'd be better off without you, then you never really knew me at all. If you believed when I said that I wouldn't be thinking about you, you thought you knew the truth but you're wrong."