I messed up. Big time. I don't want to try to work it out, because I don't want to have to even tell you. I'm scared... I'm scared that you'll be upset and I'm scared it will hurt you. I'm scared that you'll give up and I'm scared you'll walk away. But most of all, I'm scared you won't... I'm scared you'll forgive me and I'm scared you'll choose to stay. And that would be the worst thing of all - because I know I don't deserve it, and I know I don't deserve you.
"There is nothing left to say to you that you wanna hear, that you wanna know. I think I should go - the things I've done are way to shameful..."
"It was not your fault but mine, and it was your heart on the line. I really fucked it up this time - didn't I my dear? Didn't I my dear..."
"You do not know how much this hurts me to say these things that I don't want to say, but have to say them anyway. I would do anything to end your suffering."
Thing is...
I don't believe it's as big of a deal as I feel like it is, as I'm making it out to be. The problem is what if it happens again? What if I do something worse? I don't ever want to hurt you. But thing is I just don't know how not to...
"Promise me you'll forget me," she said as she walked away, "Don't hold on, please... Let go of me. You make it so hard to leave."
"I told you not to fall in love with me."
You can do better. We both know that, and so does everybody else. Please do... Please never settle for less than you are capable of, because you are capable of incredible things. You deserve someone great - someone so much greater than me. Find her and be happy. I love you.
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